Remember that coca-cola video? “Holidays are coming. Holidays are coming.” If not, here’s a reminder. My sister and I, our English wasn’t that great yet when we first saw this video as 9-year-olds, so we would sing, “hummadaysacomma. hummadaysacomma.” 😛 Ah, the innocence of youth.
The holidays are approaching, and in these last couple of weeks to the end of the year, most of us are taking stock, looking at the things we’d like to improve in the coming period.
Sometimes you just feel stuck. Stuck in everything.
Your life might not be the way you want to have it (yet). So you start reading a lot of self-help blogs and books about self-actualization, being your authentic self, turning your dreams into plans and you can’t’s into CAN’S. 😉
I know, I’ve been there. A book which has really helped me set goals and drill down to how I want to feel is the Desire Map by Danielle Laporte (aff. link) (for Dutch version), as well as a continuous process of thought-work.
4 first steps to help you start-up your Goal-setting Adventure
You sometimes forget to look at what you’ve already achieved, when you keep steaming on towards the future. Looking back can be an empowering experience, seeing your accomplishments (what you are grateful for, and why?), and it can also teach you some lessons about what things you want to be different (what you are dissatisfied with, and why?).
Step 1: Take stock of the year gone by
Check out different areas in your life that are important to YOU. And I say you with capital letters because, us chicas, we sometimes have the tendency to go for what’s expected.
To illustrate, when I take stock of my goals, I look at:
✅✅ Work, Business & Finances/ Impact ✅✅
✅✅ Creativity, Personal growth & development ✅✅
✅✅ Healthy (Mental and Physical) Lifestyle ✅✅
✅✅ Relationships, Friends & Family ✅✅
You can make any categorization you want, whatever makes sense and is relevant to you, and for each of them answer:
What went well this year? Or what am I grateful for, and why?
What didn’t go so well? Or what am I dissatisfied with, and why?
Answering these questions helped me pinpoint the areas in my life that need some work or where I’m not true to myself. My most significant criterium is to consider how I would want to feel in each area of my life and for this I worked with Danielle Laporte’s Core Desired Feelings (did my actions help me feel the way I want to feel?)
I will give you a quick example of what taking stock looks like in practise (the short version).
I am grateful that/ for:
- I’m getting clearer on which direction I want to go with my business, which feels like I’m becoming more authentic.
- My almost 11-year relationship is still going strong and that I have great friends and family, which makes me feel super loved.
- I’ve discovered these soul-sisters, like Danielle Laporte, Marie Forleo, and Ash Ambirge, who are helping me feel more empowered & working to make my dreams come true (even though I’ve never met them IRL).
- All that I’ve learned about myself and the topics that interest me – Entrepreneurship, marketing, personal development – which makes me feel expanded and empowered.
What’s not working for me is:
- That I have way more to give to the world than I’ve been able to do in the situation I’m in right now, which makes me feel a little disempowered and purposeless.
This is just an abridged version, and I recommend you get Danielle’s book, it really helped me.
Step 2: Look toward the future
After taking stock of the year gone by, you get to focus on the future and ask yourself:
A) How do I want to feel?
You can use the same categorization used in step 1, and ask yourself, how do I want to feel in each area of my life? Again, Danielle Laporte has a whole book about it that can help you identify your core desired feelings.
When you’ve identified your core desired feelings, you can see what traits you can incorporate in your life to get there.
B) What traits do I want to incorporate into my future lifestyle to feel more fulfilled?
For example: Do you want less commuting time? Be able to bike from home to work and back? Or maybe you want more freedom to work on your own projects or be with your family? Do you want to be your own boss or a new job?
Don’t forget to ask yourself why you want these traits in your life. It is because YOU want to feel a certain way. Plus, one thing to remember is that you are setting these goals for yourself, not to please or fulfil anyone else’s vision of what your life should be like.
What matters most is how YOU want to feel and taking actions accordingly. This might seem obvious, but for years I fell into that trap of doing things for other people.
Step 3: Take over the world. Dream big. No one is going to do it for you!
Now it’s time for action. For each life area/ trait that you’ve identified as relevant to you,
What are you going to do to change your life for the better?
Think Big & Be specific.
Now is not the time to be modest or vague. You want to feel inspired enough to go for it.
Step 4: Implementing your action plan.
Answering these questions is step one towards awareness. If you actually want to change anything, you need to take loving action.
Tricks that can help you realize your dreams is to tell someone who can help you be accountable and if you get stuck in your action plan to make the steps as small as you can make them.
Remember, you might feel stuck now, but…
Change is imminent. Change is unavoidable.
THANK the universe, what a relief.
Your situation isn’t permanent.
Free “10 days of Adventure Challenge”
For those of you that are participating 10 days of Adventure Challenge, running until the 18th of December, 2019. I hope you’re making great progress on your goals!
Don’t forget to share your progress over at Instagram using the hashtag #10daysofadventurechallenge, tagging me @theecotourist.
If you haven’t yet participated in the Challenge, don’t hesitate to do so, but be quick! Sign op closes the 18th of December.
Start setting the right goals for you and make them dreams happen, chica!
Someone out there is waiting to hear your story, all you need to do is take the first step and sign up!
p.s. I use some affiliate links in this post and if you go through them to make a purchase I will earn a commission. Keep in mind that I link to these products because they are relevant to this post and I trust their quality. This post should already get you a long way to set better goals for yourself but if you decide to go deeper I wanted to cite the source where I got my inspiration from.
Happy planning for a great New Year.