I’m back! Ready to roll. YASSS. My cup has been refilled after a hiking, hammocks, and jungle vacation in …. Costa Rica. 4 weeks of nature, nature, nature (and 1 sloth). I needed some adventure in my life – Latin America Edition!!!! The planets aligned and both me and my boyfriend found ourselves with some extra free time.
Before I went on my holiday, I’d been rocking some self-help and female badassery re-reading “You are Badass” by Jen Sincero” + another awesome post by miss UNF*CKWTHABLE herself Ash Ambirge from the Middle Finger Project. I was inspired by the concept of getting off the hamster wheel and living your life on f*cking purpose, so I wrote the following post.
Because sometimes it feels like you’re living your life on auto-pilot.
When you live your life by default, you get lost in all the expectations (in my case: mostly my own).
You close your eyes to the possibilities.
Personally, I notice that I start believing that my plans of having my own successful company, writing a book, and travelling a LOT, are impossible and, even worse, IRRESPONSIBLE.
“What if … it goes wrong?” and “Oh, shit… I don’t know HOW?” become your mantra.
Relatable right?! That moment when you unconsciously start to dictate your actions to fit that belief. You get stuck in a constant hamster wheel, where you’re doing stuff, but it doesn’t feel like you’re doing them on purpose.
It’s more or less like filling the time with endless doings, shouldings, and ….
It doesn’t particularly fill you with joy to be this “ON” ALL the FREAKIN’ TIME, does it? Consumed by to do lists, e-mail, your phone, all kinds of apps, Facebook. (Don’t get me started on my FB-addiction).
You need there to be time for you. To focus on all the things you want to do that fill you up with light. Unapologetically. Without knowing the outcome.
So, I want you to constantly ask yourself (make it your mantra):
“Why the f*ck NOT?”
Because… why the f*ck not? What is holding you back?
When you were younger, you never stopped to ask yourself: “What if..?”
You saw something you wanted and started trying to make it happen. It might not always have worked out, but when it did you most likely experienced some of the best moments in your life.
For me, it’s how I found myself in Spain on my own when I was 16, in Guatemala at 19, AND living in the freakin’ Amazon to do research for my dissertation.
I never stopped to ask, if this was allowed, if it was responsible, if I was capable?
I just knew it was something I needed to try and do.
But, over time, somehow this belief in limits creeps in.
So, you take that responsible office job that doesn’t really light you up … And then another. And another.
Before you know it you are hamster wheeling (it sounds really cool… like a new sport or something … but it’s sooo draining!), as Ash so aptly calls it.
Stuck in auto-pilot.
Believing that this is all you can get out of life.
But there is something you can do about it! (wow, I sound like an infomercial right now …)
Yes. There is a solution. And it sounds so simple: Decide you want more and get off the f*cking hamster wheel! Tadaaaa!!
Sorry – It’s not easy. What’s easier is getting used to the comfortable monotonous zooming of the hamster wheel. It’s harder and way more courageous * but scary * to decide to get off and turn your back on this kind of limited thinking.
For me, this meant taking some time off. Slowly, I’m getting back to doing things on purpose and going for what I want. So, I’m focussing on my website and my love for writing. But I realize, time off is just as important.
Time off from all the “having to” is GOOD.
So I went to Costa Rica for a month. I’ve been dreaming about going back to big travels* since 2013/14. But I didn’t believe it was possible, or maybe I’m being too hard on myself and it’s more a case of doing what I had to do to get some financial stability.
Now, being offered the time. I decided to leave the daily grind for a little bit for some R and R, because I want to live my life on PURPOSE, NOT by default, and certainly NOT on auto-pilot.